1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands.

People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings.
People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria.
People with a newspaper in their hands look like they're heading for the bathroom.
Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy.

Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal email, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work.
When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars. You're not a loafer, you're a self-starter. Offer to show your boss what you learned. That will make your boss scurry away like a frightened salamander.

3. Messy desk

Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace.
To the observer, it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Voice Mail

Never answer your phone if you have voice mail.
People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live.
Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.
If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full" - a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.

One more addition: One should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

Additional tips: Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out.
Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35 pm, 7:05 am, etc...) and during public holidays. You may even change the PC timing for that.

Also: Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are very hard pressed.

Don't forget: Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use it freely when in conversation with bosses.

Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

Hope these words of wisdom come in handy.

You are requested to let me know of any more lessons you have learnt in your journey up / down the ethereal ladder.

Send it to ramsap@yahoo.com

Moral of this one :

Always ensure that you get the fruits of your work. Ha ha !

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